


Dream of a Life Before This One

by Mertens



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, I think the title was a Yeats line from a poem but now i can't find it???, Non-Linear Narrative, missing memories, non-linear chapters, or rather the narrative being the chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:05:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7564792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertens/pseuds/Mertens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you ever get the feeling there's something very important you're forgetting, but you don't know it is?</p>
<p>Each Ghostbuster wakes up separately into a life where they have no memories of their time together. Will they be able to remember what's eluding them and defeat whatever caused this so they can find each other again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Patty

Patty Tolan sat on her chair inside of the ticket booth and peered into a small pocket mirror, sliding the frosted grape lipstick across her lips. She felt awkward applying her makeup at work - although the passengers were all lost in their own worlds as they hurried by, she couldn't help but feel as though everyone was staring at her. She had never come to work before without being fully dressed, and that included whatever makeup she felt like wearing that day. But that morning she had woken up late - another first. She had awoken with a start realizing the sun was already up, and she had the distinct feeling she had been interrupted from a very important dream. Perhaps she had been in the middle of a conversation with someone in her dream, or perhaps she had been running - perhaps it had been both. But it left her with an uneasy feeling that still hadn't left her even after she arrived at work. 

Something in the subway felt different today, though she couldn't put her finger on what it was. She frowned as she watched the passengers line up for each train, arriving and departing. Something was different but everything looked the same. She shook her head. 

She reached for her tote bag from underneath the counter, wondering if this strange feeling was due to her forgetting something back at her apartment. All three of her library books were there, as was her square tupperware dish with her lunch inside of it. She held it up to the flourescent light bulb. Waldorf salad. She had a very clear image of herself cooking the night before, stir frying snap peas and julienne carrots with a peanut sauce and rice noodles, of herself putting that stir fry into a square tupperware dish and then into the refrigerator to be taken for lunch the next day. She hadn't even bought apples or raisins from the grocery store in weeks, yet here were apple slices and raisins peeking out at her from under chunks of chicken and leaves of lettuce in that very same square dish.


	2. Holtz

Jillian Holtzmann chewed nervously on the end of the red pen she was using to grade papers. Why was she grading papers? What kind of nightmare was this? She had woken up that morning at a loss of what her days plans were. She felt there was something she had been planning, but what it was escaped her, just like that lab rat she had tried to take out so she could give it a kiss on its little face, only for it to wriggle away and hide behind some machinery. Just like that hiding rat, her plans were making noises at her, but she could not ascertain where they were or get a clear view of what they looked like. 

She had wandered into the lab on campus, hoping that being in a place in which she spent most of her time would jog her memory - or hopefully even be where she needed to be. When she had arrived she was almost immediately greeted by her mentor, Rebecca Gorin. Rebecca had pulled her aside and asked her for a favor - she was running late and needed some papers from her students graded. Holtz and stared at her, wondering what had possessed her to make her ask such a thing. She knew Holtz hated grading papers, and after the last time when Holtz had drawn little reaction faces to the students' answers, Rebecca had agreed that it was better if Holtz did not continue to grade them. 

But Rebecca had insisted this time, and Holtz couldn't honestly say she had something else to do instead, so here she was, red pen in hand, back at scrawling numbers and little faces next the college students' answers. The feeling still hadn't left her, though. There was somewhere she needed to be, someone she needed to meet. But who? And where? She pulled out her cell phone. Zero texts, no missed calls. She skimmed through her contact list, hoping to see the name she couldn't think of. It was a short list - Rebecca, several local food deliveries, and some numbers for places she had never found the need to call but added anyway because she wanted the list to look longer. Why was she looking for the number of a friend? She didn't have many of those, and she certainly didn't have their numbers. She had made her peace with her solitude long ago, so why was she suddenly feeling so empty? She sighed as she turned her phone upside down on the desk and went back to flipping through the papers.


	3. Abby

Abby Yates felt like a bowl of wonton soup with only half of a wonton shell in it. She frowned and flipped through the Netflix queue, passing show after show that she never remembered adding. She kept thinking the phone was going to ring any minute and she would need to go somewhere, but she couldn't think of who was supposed to be calling or where she needed to go. 

In her mind, she thought this felt all wrong for a weekend - staying in, eating Chinese food, and watching Netflix. But she honestly couldn't think of how else her weekends were spent in the past. She had vague visions of going down the pub across the street, but really, who goes to a pub by themselves in the middle of the afternoon? It would be fun if she had a few friends who would go with her, but she couldn't even think of anyone to invite. It was a depressing thought. there was one name especially she was trying hard to remember, but it slipped away from her every time.

It was an old friend from childhood or her teen years, maybe. They must have lost contact long ago if she couldn't even think of her face. She sighed and flipped on the first episode of Breaking Bad and tried not to think of long lost friends and lonely pubs. She would enjoy her weekend and then when Monday rolled around, she would head back to work. Then it would be the weekend again, and she could catch up on more Netflix. Just like this week, just like last week, and just the week before that, and the one before that. Right? It didn't seem right to her, but she could find no evidence to the contrary, so she nodded to herself and settled down to watch crisp scenes of New Mexico. Sometimes she turns as if to say something to someone, to make a joke about a scene or offer a crab rangoon, but no one is there. No one has ever been there, but that also seemed wrong. Maybe it was just one of those days...


	4. Erin

Erin Gilbert was perfectly fine, and definitely not in danger. At least, that was what she was desperately repeating to herself in her mind as she stood in from on her classroom and wrote on the whiteboard. Her hand shook just slightly as she finished writing the equation, as though her body were trying to match the waver in her voice. She cleared her throat and turned around. She looked out at students writing down notes, thankfully not many of them were looking at her and those that were seemed utterly oblivious to the fact that their professor was nearly on the verge of a full blown panic attack. 

After all this time, it was happening again, but she couldn't understand why. She had gotten her anxiety under control years ago - little flare ups now and then, but nothing as bad as this. Feeling like this again made her think of being small and alone and scared like she was when she was a little girl. But she wasn't little anymore. She was an adult, with her own apartment where nothing peered at her from the darkness, with friends and colleagues who listened to her when she had something to say, and with absolutely no reason to panic over explaining a concept that she herself had mastered at the age of twenty. 

After what seemed ages, the class was over and she walked quickly into her small office. She put her hands over her face and tried to breath slowly and fight back the sobbing feeling. It was just a feeling, she told herself. It would pass if she waited it out. Everything was fine, she told herself. But a small nagging thought in the back of her mind warned it wasn't.

Finding no real reason anything was out of place besides the feeling, she pushed it down, straightened out her skirt, and headed back into the world again, promising herself a tub of ice cream and glass of wine for dinner if she got through the day. For a brief instant, she the image of herself flopping down on her couch next to someone, and sharing the ice cream with them, but she couldn't put a face to who it was despite the familiarity of the idea. She had to remind herself that she lived alone, and for some reason the idea almost seemed surprising. But she had always lived alone, hadn't she? Schrodinger's roommate, she though, and gave a wry grin at her own silent joke. Everything was fine.


	5. Patty and Holtz

Patty eyed the Waldorf salad suspiciously as she poked it with a fork. It looked delicious, but she couldn't bring herself to eat something that had mysteriously appeared in her bag. She tucked it back into her tote and ordered a sandwich from the little shop around the corner. She had been looking forward to those snap peas and noodles, but a turkey and Swiss would have to do. Her lunch break was spent reading one of the library books - "Forgotten History of New York" was the title, and it was filled with details she'd never heard before. 

Finding new facts about things she knew so well was like being introduced to an old friend all over again. Normally immersing herself into stories about people and places always took her mind off of her own problems, but today each paragraph brought her thoughts back to her own current predicament. She could remember each and every story referenced in the book - it all came flooding back, detail after detail, even stories she hadn't thought of in years. So what was it she was missing? Surely sooner or later something would came along and send off the single spark needed to relight whatever was dark. 

She had her break timed perfectly, even with the interruption of having to buy a sandwich. She stuck a bookmark in her book and stored it away for later under the counter. She dispensed tickets almost without thinking about it, a second nature to her while mind was far away in old-timey New York. Out on the platform she spotted a flash of curly blonde hair that brought her back to the present - or maybe the not so distant past. 

"Holtzy!" she called out before she could stop herself. 

A few passenger glanced over at Patty, suddenly aware of her as a person and not just another fixture in the subway. 

Why had she called out like that? Who or what was a "Holtzy"? She put her hand to her forehead. Maybe she's been working too hard. Maybe she needed a vacation or something. 

She could almost see flashes of something, of someone. A friendly smirk, a playful wink, something on fire. But these images didn't match up to anything else in her mind. Had she fallen asleep with the television on again? Maybe she had caught parts of a movie or something and her mind only half remembered it. 

But why would she call out after a movie character? She stood on her tip toes to look past the crowd and see if she could get another look at the person who started this, but they were already gone. 

She tried not to let it worry her, but she felt on edge for the rest of the day. When her shift was over she gathered up her things to leave and hurried out without even greeting her coworker who was just starting his shift. On her way out of the subway, she caught a strange reflection in the tile wall. Eyes, she thought. Eyes staring at her. She reached back behind her, as though she expected something to be there hanging off of her belt, something that could help keep her safe. There was nothing. There was nothing in the wall either, upon closer inspection. 

The first thing she did when she got home was lock the door tightly and pull up a several search engines on her computer.


	6. Holtz and Erin

Holtzmann had finished grading the papers. In a few more minutes, Rebecca's second class would be over and Holtz could hand the papers off to her. She spun herself around on the swivel stool. Suddenly she remembered something, something important that she had forgotten about. 

Pringles. 

Underneath the table she had rigged a basket the size of a shoebox, hidden just out of sight unless you stuck your head under the table. She knew right where it was, though, and pulled out the tune of pressed potato flakes without having to look. She took them back to the stool and resumed her swiveling, this time munching on chips. 

Rebecca walked back in. 

"I graded them." Holtz said around the chips. "I tried to keep the little faces to a minimum, but I tell ya, some of those answers needed them, man." 

Rebecca nodded, looking through them. She glanced up at one of the machines in the corner of the lab. 

"Have you been keeping an eye on that?" Rebecca nodded towards it. "The timer should be done soon, if it sits too long it'll be ruined."

"Yeah, I'm on it." 

"Don't leave it until the light has to come on." 

"Safety lights are for du-"

Holtz stopped mid word and choked on her Pringles and almost fell off her stool. Deja vu had never hit her so hard. She glanced around, looking for the other person she felt should be there. She felt that same ache from earlier, like something was missing and it was urgent. She had an image of a plaid skirt, but she didn't know who it could belong to. She almost never wore skirts, and Rebecca never wore plaid. Holtz felt like an ant was crawling on her but she couldn't find it was to crush it. Who was she forgetting? 

"Are you okay?" Rebecca looked mildly concerned for her former student. Sometimes - actually, a lot of times, she worried for the girl. 

"Yeah, I just gotta get some some air." she avoided Rebecca's eye and dashed for the door. 

Once outside paced around the campus, hoping that either the exercise would help her feel better or she might catch a glimpse of whoever she had started to think of. Most times she could pass off deja vu as a harmless trick of the brain. But this had seemed so different. It had seemed hyper real - more real than how she felt right now. 

When Holtzmann set her mind to something, she achieved it. If she couldn't achieve it, it was because whatever she trying to achieve was impossible. Holtz didn't care how impossible this seemed to be. She was going to find out what had happened and get to the bottom of this. The only obstacle was figuring out where to start. How do you look for something when you don't even know what the something is?


	7. Erin and Abby

Erin shakily got through the day, and finally it was over. As soon as closed the door to her apartment, she changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt and flipped the TV on. The constant him of dialogue and commercials going in the background, she walked over to her shelf of special objects. 

It was in her living room, viewable from her couch, a single shelf right at eye level on a tall bookshelf otherwise filled with books. It held keepsakes from different people and places she'd known throughout her life, mementos that helped her remember all the good times she'd seen and the friends she'd made, even she didn't keep in touch with any of them anymore. Looking at the shelf always helped her relax, and tonight was no different. She counted up the items and slowed her breathing. Her shoulders let go of some of their tension. 

She got a tub of ice cream from the fridge and poured herself some red wine and sat down on the cushy green couch. Flipping through channels, every so often she'd glance back at the shelf. She could remember every single item and where she got it from. 

The sand castle snow globe, from when her parents took her to the beach for the first time. 

The painted martini glass that was a 21st birthday gift from her aunt. 

A little bear figurine from an ex she had stayed friends with. 

Her grandmother's locket. 

The friendship bracelet from - 

A bracelet from... From? 

She scowled at the little scraps of pink and blue and yellow thread braided together, wondering why she didn't know who it was from. Clearly it was important to be on this shelf. She got up to look at it closer. 

Picking it up, she realized how small it was. From when she was a kid, because it certainly wouldn't fit her now. She couldn't put it on, but she held against her wrist, thinking, remembering. She could almost see a face, the face of another little girl. Glasses and a button nose and a name that was so close and familiar but so far away and foggy. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. It was almost like hearing that an old friend had died. A girl so long ago had made this for her, and must have held a very dear spot in Erin's heart for her to put this on the shelf, but now she was nothing more than a blurry face and instead of causing good memories when she looked at it, it only caused confusion and a little sadness. 

She turned off the tv, put the ice cream away, and went to bed. As she drifted off to sleep she tried to let her mind wander back to those locked away childhood memories, back to the friend with no face, with no name.


	8. Abby and Patty

On the second day of the weekend, Abby couldn't take it anymore. She turned off Netflix and ventured outside, not certain of where to go, but fairly certain it didn't really matter anyway. She wandered down the sidewalks, looking in shop windows and smiling politely at the food vendors she passed. The miserable feeling would not leave her be. It was like something big had been removed from her life and she was left a gaping hole and there was nothing to fill it. But how big could it have been if she couldn't even remember what it was? 

She shoved her hands into her pockets and continued on her way, hoping to distract herself from such thoughts. She couldn't escape from them entirely, but the hustle and bustle of the busy New York streets was better than the near silence of her apartment. A small piece of paper fluttered out from the handbag of a woman just ahead of Abby.

Abby stooped down to catch it, hoping to return it to it's owner.

"Ma'am! You dropped something! "Abby called to her, but the woman didn't hear her and kept walking. 

"Ma'am?" she tried again.

It was too late. She was lost in the crowd now, not likely to come back for it, not even very likely to notice it was missing at all. Abby looked down at it. 

A subway ticket. Something about it filled her with nostalgia but she didn't know why. She suddenly felt the urge to go down into the subway and see what was there. It seemed a little silly to just walk around the subway looking for something when she didn't even know what it was, but Abby had not come this far in career as a scientist by ignoring her gut instinct on things. So down into the subway she went, still clutching the ticket stub. 

The subway seemed normal as always, much to her disappointment. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she found practically nothing. She tried to peek down the subway tunnel as far as she could, but all there was was darkness. She started wistfully at the ticket booth, but had to look away when the man working there caught sight of her staring. She almost thought for a moment she'd find a long lost friend here, or some omen to point her in the right direction of whatever her quest was after, but all it did was leave her feeling just as alone as before. Seh headed back up into the sunlight, giving one last look back at the ticket booth.She knew she had no right to be disappointed, but she couldn't help feeling that way, as though someone was supposed to be here to meet her. She trudged up the stairs into daylight and kept walking, hoping she could find what she was looking for.


	9. Before, 1

"What'd you got for us, Patty?" Holtz pulled her glasses off and scooted her wheeled stool near into the main room, excited for what her friend is going to tell them. 

Patty set her laptop down on the coffee table, Erin and Abby took a seat on either side of her. 

"I already went over with everyone all the history of the building yesterday, I haven't found anything new on that front. But look here - the old owner was into some pretty shady stuff. They say when they tore up the carpet they found all kinds of sigils scrawled on the floors." she showed them the photos she had found of the markings drawn in what was hopefully red paint.

"Was he trying to summon something?" Erin guessed.

"More importantly - did he succeed?" Abby chimed in.

Patty nodded. "If you can believe the stories folks told about him, he certainly did. More than one something, likely."

She clicked on the next set of photos.

"I looked up what these sigils were for. In addition to spirits who bring wealth and power, he also was trying to get this." she pulled up another page.

The others cringed looking at it.

"Mmm hmm. Now picture this page loading up on your screen in the middle of the night. You're welcome. I have got to stop looking this stuff up before bedtime." Patty shook her head.

She handed out several printed papers to each them. 

"These are the powers he supposedly has, so we'll know what to look out for. He's pretty nasty, so we're gonna need to be careful out there."

The gang silently read through the list. 

"Okay I would like to raise some concerns." Abby spoke after getting to the bottom of the list.

"I would like to tender my resignation, effective two weeks ago." Holtzmann added.

"How are we even supposed to deal with something like this?" Erin waved to the list. "What about this one? that's ridiculous!"

"Now, these are just stories, so maybe he's not as strong as all that." Patty explained. "But we need to be aware of what might happen. We've busted worse before, if we work together I'm sure we'll bust this too."

There was a pause followed by the other three all speaking at once.

"Pretty sure we haven't seen worse."

"Yeah, this dude's pretty gnarly though." 

"I don't think we've busted something like this before."

Patty held up her hands. "I'm not jumping up and down about seeing thing face to face either. But look at it this way - either we take the fight to him, or we let him have free range and wait for him for come to us. We can make a plan about what to do if the worst case scenario happens to us."

The others nodded, knowing she was right. They couldn't back down from this. 

They got their client to agree to give them three more days before they had to bust the ghost. That gave them time to put together new gear and make a plan. 

They worked tirelessly together, amping up the proton packs, constructing new ghost traps, double checking the old equipment. There was only so much they could plan for, but for what they could foresee they tried their best to piece something together.

In their spare free moments - which were not many - they tried to fit in small pleasures, perhaps for the last time. This cup of soup, this cheesecake ice cream cone, a new shade of nail polish, a fashion magazine. One last chance to treat themselves to something. 

As the work wrapped to a close, the deadline started to press heavily on all of them. The four of them went out to a movie the night before to try to relax before the ominous date on the calendar. No one said it, but each of them felt as though they were drawing near to their own execution. 

They had taken dangerous jobs before, of course, and they were no strangers to the thought that one of them could be seriously injured or even die during one of those jobs. Sometimes they had even joked about how if one of them died on the job it would end up being extra work for the rest of team. But there were no such jokes leading up to this one. No one dared. 

They parted awkwardly that night, each unsure if they should make it a bigger deal or not. Sensing the general vibe, Abby pulled them into a group hug which have lasted a little longer than strictly necessary. 

"I'm so proud of all of us." she told them. "Let's get some sleep, and I'll see all of you tomorrow to go bust some ghosts, okay?"


	10. Before, 2

The next morning they met in the fire station and quietly suited up. They met by the doorway, all ready to yet wanting to hold back just a little longer. 

"Do we remember our meeting place?" Erin asked, trying to sound upbeat. 

The others nodded and shuffled their feet. None of them wanted to be the first to say they were ready. 

Holtz cleared her throat. 

"I just wanted to say that, uh, no matter where we end up, I will find you guys. No matter how long it takes, even if I'm old and gray. But you know, I am the youngest here so if you guys could try to not get too old and die or anything before I find you again, that'd be a big help." 

She sniffled and rubbed her arm across her face. 

The others smiled appreciatively. Any other time they might have laughed, but they knew that any laughter might quickly turn to tears. 

"Ok let's go." Holtz put on a steely face to mask any weakness or emotion that might have slipped though just moments ago. 

She headed out the door, head held high and determination in her step. The others followed close behind. Once in the car, they maintained the same quiet fortitude. 

The car was parked in front of the old cottage that was covered in ivy and moss. The stone path leading to its door was cracked and broken, and though it was a clear sunny day, it seemed as though a dark fog hung over the entire property. 

The only noise was the unbuckling of seat belts, the slam of the car doors, and the metallic clinks of the proton packs as they strapped them to their backs, but each and every noise felt muted and small. 

Erin's hands shook as she nervously fidgeted with the shoulder strap of her pack. The buckle fit just fine, but she felt the need to redo it once, twice, three ti- Patty reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. Erin looked up at her friend, surprised. Patty smiled at her, a comforting smile, but one that also had the same fear behind it that Erin was experiencing. Erin squeezed back and let the buckle stay the way it was. If they had to face this, at least they were able to face it together. 

It wasn't until Holtz was already geared up that she realized she had left the keys in the cup holder. She couldn't fit back in the car to reach them without taking off her gear, but doing so would eat up time. She glanced over at Abby, who was just about to her gear on. 

"Could you get those?" Holtz pointed to the keys. 

Abby nodded and got them out. Once retrieved, she held them out for Holtz to take. 

"Do you want to hold onto them, or should I?" 

"You keep 'em. Thanks." 

The waver in her voice was well hidden, but Abby still noticed it. She drew closer to her friend, putting a hand on shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

The sideways glance from Holtz made Abby realize how silly her question had sounded out loud. Abby chuckled. 

"Yeah, I get it. But you know what, it might not even happen. For all we know we might bust this ghost in five minutes! We have those new grenades you made, remember? And that proton net Patty came up with? This weirdo in here won't know what hit him."

Holtz nodded at her friend's words, but couldn't help frowning. It was difficult to believe Abby when she didn't sound like she even believed herself. 

But Holtz appreciated the gesture behind the empty words, so she looked up at the house, using her hand to shield her eyes from the sun and said, "I think you're right."


	11. Before, 3

Their shoes crunched on gravel strewn across the stone path leading to the cottage. They anxiously eyed the two story building, unsure of where the spirit might be hiding, hoping that they would not be caught unaware. 

They stayed close together, an unusual move for them. They didn't want to split up this time in case a ghost should corner one of them alone and have no time to call for backup. If something were going to happen, it would happen to all them, together. 

Once inside, it was immediate. The cupboards rattled and doors creaked and the cracks in the walls oozed ectoplasm. A wailing ghost slipped out of the air vent, arms outstretched, claw like fingers reaching for eyes. The proton beams made short work of it, but for each ghost they busted, it seemed two more took its place. 

A long tentacle reached out and pulled Abby off her feet. Patty had her covered, only to be knocked sideways by a giant bat. They fought their way through the downstairs, the only major injuries consisting of bumps and bruises. After the first few ghosts were busted, the tension eased a bit, the team falling into a routine they spent so long cultivating. 

After Erin had sent the last ghost through the shredder, the team paused. Holtz rubbed the side of her face where a particularly solid ghost had punched her. Everything was silent, eerily so. The fog still hung over the house, but there were no more spirits in sight. Still holding the proton shotguns at the ready, they slowly made their way through the entire downstairs one last time. There was nothing. Whatever brief ease they had had moments ago faded back into anxiety as they realized something was still upstairs, and it was waiting for them. 

Huddled closely together, they tip-toed to the base of the old staircase and peered up the floors above. 

"Why's it always gotta be the creepiest stuff upstairs." Patty mumbled to herself. 

Each Ghostbuster was mentally rehearsing how long it would take them to clatter down the stairs should they feel the need to run. Each Ghostbuster also knew however long it took them to flatter down said stairs was in fact too long. 

The stairs were too narrow to walk side by side on, so Erin headed up first, followed by Patty and then Abby, and Holtz at the end. They still stayed as close to each other as they could, each step right behind the other, each step hesitating as though unsure whether to press ahead into the danger or to turn back and run. 

Finally they reached the top without incident, with a few glances back at the direction they had come from, wondering if it was still too late to run and never return. 

There was a humming noise coming from the room that was the farthest away. It was too late. 

They walked down the hallway, giving quick looks into the other rooms they passed to make sure nothing was hiding. It seemed to be completely empty except for the very last room, from which the hum grew louder. After a slight pause in front of the closed door, they kicked it open and rushed in the room. 

Thanks to Patty's collection of info, they knew this room was the old man's study - the very center of his occult practices, and the one in which they had found numerous sigils. 

Abby turned the beam of the proton pack on the spirit, trying to pull it into the shredder Erin was holding. 

Holtzmann pulled out a large bottle of turpentine and splashed it over the sigils on the floor, rubbing them with boot, hoping to scratch off as much as she could to weaken the being's power and attachment to this plane. 

Patty set up a special ghost trap and tried to push it as close to the spirits as she could. 

It blinked its large red eyes and growled deep in its throat. Abby's beam was not doing much in the way of pulling it closer, even with the suction coming from the shredder helping. The beast had too many teeth and too many long sharp nails, and it did not want to leave its spot in the corner. The cloying pine scent mingled with with the smell of sweat and ectoplasm, and as the seconds ticked away, they began to fear this creature was not able to be busted at all. 

"Grenades, now!" Abby called. 

"I'm on it!" Holtz paused her cleaning to toss a handful of small bombs into the corner. Still scuffing the ground with her foot, she pulled out her proton pack and joined Abby in attempting to pull the creature closer to both the shredder and the trap, hoping that one of them would work and rid them of it. 

"Patty, ready!" Erin shouted. 

"Ready!" Patty stomped on the trigger of the trap, adding her proton beam as well. 

The beast paused. At first it had thought to play with these girls who had disturbed it. But now, now it seemed as though there might actually be some danger here. The blonde one had rubbed away at least half of the sigils and it could feel it's power weaken as a result, and it did not like the look of the thing the tall one had shoved so close to it. The grenades had caused pain - a feeling it had never felt before. Something must be done about it. Playtime was over now. 

At the same instant the trigger was pressed, the monster stood up on its back legs and stretched its arms out wide. A string of profanities exited the mouths of the women, knowing what was about to happen next. 

The ghost trap, amped up to a level that was iffy on safety, sputtered and stalled. The team screamed. The sound of the protons and the sputtering trap and the growling beast mixed with the screams to create a cacophony of terror. 

The monster brought its hands together and its eyes glowed bright. It's palms touched. 

And suddenly, silence.


	12. Interlude

The screaming stopped; the room was empty except for the spirit. 

The trap sputtered one last time, and seemed to go out. 

The spirit leaned forward to get a better look at what it was. 

The trap amped back up, a whining noise suddenly increasing. 

It went off, sucking the ghost inside in under one second and snapping shut. 

The trap had worked, but not soon enough.


	13. Patty; Holtz; Erin; Abby

The next day, Patty continued her new habit of doing things she'd never done before and called in sick. In over twenty years she had never missed work, even if that meant going in with a cold. This day, she didn't even have a sore throat. But she called in none the less, having the feeling there was something else she needed to be doing. 

She had spent most of the night scouring the Internet, looking for any relevant information to the situation. As far as she could tell, she hadn't found any. But every so often she would run across a sentence or a phrase that would send chills down her spine and make her think she was so close to finding the answer she could taste it - but then the feeling passed, and once again she was left with too many questions and no answers in sight. 

 

Holtz hadn't been back to the lab since she walked out. In fact, she hadn't even slept since she had woken up feeling weird. There was too much to do to sleep right now - even if all she was doing was walking and thinking. 

Some of Holtz's best discoveries had been made not in a lab, but while out walking, her focusing on whatever abstract concept was of interest to her while her eyes scanned the sidewalks and store fronts and fashion choices of the people around her. So she kept walking and thinking, not due where either of those things would lead her, but hoping she would somehow end up where she needed to be. 

 

Erin was emotionally exhausted from the previous night. She knew she had dreamed of her forgotten friend from the past, but the fact that her dream was if her was all she could actually remember. The details, the names, the faces, all blurred and out of reach yet again. She felt like she had lived an entire lifetime the past night, with all the emotions and memories that go with it, only for it to now feel like the remnants of a bad hangover - and she didn't even finish one glass of wine. 

She looked at her watch. She didn't have anywhere to be for hours still. From her closet she pulled a pair of neon jogging shoes and cringed. She hadn't been jogging for years - and apparently years longer than she thought, because those shoes screamed "1993" in a very bad yet almost charming way. But she used to love jogging, and she was sure she'd love it still, so she laced up the lime green and hot pink laces and hit the sidewalk. Jogging had always helped to clear her mind, and never had her mind needed clearing as much as it did now. 

 

After leaving the subway, Abby had no where else to go. Her errands were all caught up, she had no groceries to find, even all the films in the theater looked boring or were ones she'd already seen. By all accounts the only left to do was go home to her apartment, but she couldn't bring herself to do that.

Besides, she told herself, it was beautiful day, why not spend it outside? So she kept walking, trying to forget the disappointment of finding nothing in the subway. She soon found herself headed to an area she rarely went to, unsure of why, but beginning to feel the same pull to it as she had to the subway. On the surface she could think of nothing of interest down this road, but she turned down it anyway. A Chinese restaurant that always messed up her order, a little shop that sold newspapers, an old abandoned fire house, a shoe repair - Abby had no interest in these. But her feeling told her to take a look, so she took the corner and started down the sidewalk.


	14. Watch your step, Holtz

Patty tried to use the day off to keep up her research, but it was too much. She needed a break from it, the eye strain and the constant frustration of not knowing the right keywords. She decided to get some air. Once outside, instead of heading towards the subway - the route she always used to get to work - she decided to go the opposite way. She realized that Chinese restaurant was down this way, and that she had skipped breakfast. Maybe some soup and salad could pull her out of this fog. Her pace quickened just slightly. However, before she could reach the restaurant, a scene played out before her that stole her attention. 

As Patty was walking down the sidewalk coming from the west, Abby was going down the same sidewalk coming from the east. She hadn't seen Patty yet; her attention was on someone else. It started as a small worry with the thought that surely this wasn't really about to happen - and it exploded into a much bigger fear as it actually happened. 

The coffee Holtz had drank earlier was already wearing off. All nighters were not as easy to pull off anymore. The world was starting to get fuzzy around the edges, and she knew sooner or later she would be forced to rest. She pushed herself to keep going though, as she certainly could rest here on the sidewalk. She'd have to keep going until she found the closest place where people knew her or she knew people and crash there. Perhaps another energy drink would hold her over until she did. 

In the very center of block was a snack shop. Holtz paused in front of it, intending to go inside and buy something. As she stared at the glass doors, she stopped. The building in the opposite side of the road was reflected in the glass - the old firehouse. She turned and looked up at it. 

The four story building had not been used in decades, and it showed. But something about it stood out to Holtz, struck her as important. She had to find out what. Forget about getting a drink - this needed to be looked into. The building had almost a magnetic pull on her. She stared up at the broken dusty windows, transfixed, as though she was remembering something from a past life, walking closer to the edge of the sidewalk. Her laser-like focus on the old building was complete; the world around her now a distraction to tune out, which is why she didn't even see the truck speeding down the road, going far over the speed limit. 

Jillian Holtzmann stepped out into the street.


	15. Into the Firehouse; Into the Past

Erin's jog was achieving its purpose, so she kept going. She slowed every so often to look at architecture she hadn't really noticed before. She'd slow down near the interesting ones, but so far none of them were worth stopping for. An old firehouse was just ahead. She slowed as she came closer, and finally stopped. This one was different. As though by an unbidden force, she stretched her hand out to the rusted doorknob. 

There was the sound of car tires squealing and women screaming. 

She jerked her hand back and quickly looked out into the street, seeing what had happened. She quickly headed to the nearest crosswalk, pulling out her cell phone and readying it to call emergency services.   
~~~

Abby rushed towards the woman steeping off the curb. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion and she felt like she couldn't move quickly enough. 

"Watch out!" she shouted, grabbing at back of the other woman's vest and pulling her backwards. 

The car swerved, just barely missing her. It sped on down the road, hardly slowing at all. 

Holtz fell back into Abby's arms, her eyes wide and terrified. 

"Are you ok?" Abby asked frantically, helping her to stand back up. 

The thought rushed through her mind that she knew this blonde woman from somewhere, but with so many other thoughts swirling around at the same time she couldn't focus on where she was from. 

Holtz just nodded. Her brow furrowed, first at the realization that she had almost been killed, and also at the wonderment of how these hands on her shoulders and concerned green eyes peering into hers felt so familiar. She clutched at the not-so-strange stranger's arms, not trusting her own strength to keep herself upright. 

"Are y'all okay? Do you need to call someone?" Patty fretted as she ran up to them. 

She thanked the heavens that the other woman had been there on the sidewalk, just that much closer. She would not have been able to reach the blonde in time, and she did not want to entertain the thought of what would have happened in that case. 

Adrenalin was rushing through her system just from having watched it. But when the freshly rescued woman turned her yellow lens bespectacled blue eyes on her, Patty felt a jolt of fear in her stomach - not the kind of fear felt while watching a person get mowed down by a speeding car, but the good kind of scary like when you're at the very top of a roller coaster and you're waiting for the drop. 

"Do- do I know y-" Patty's question was cut off by the arrival of Erin. 

Normally Erin cringed at the thought of approaching strangers on the street. As she drew near to the group of women, there was fear of course - fear for the woman who had almost been splattered into the curb - but there was no fear or trepidation about speaking to the seemingly strangers. The ease of speaking to them surprised her, as though these were old friends. 

"Do you need a phone, Abby?" she held out her cell phone to them. 

Abby looked up, shocked.

"What did you just say?"

"What?" Erin mentally went over her words, already having forgotten what had slipped out at the end of her question. 

Holtz blinked away the shock of what had almost happened and her previous mission returned to her once more. 

"We don't need a phone, we need to get inside that firehouse." she looked back at the building before warily looking both directions on the road. 

Erin's heart skipped a beat. So it wasn't just her - this place really did have some kind of pull. 

"Are you serious? It's an old abandoned thing, I doubt you can just walk inside of it." Abby protested. "Right?" she glanced over at Patty, half hoping that the others would back her up in telling Holtz she was crazy, half hoping against all reason that the others would confirm that they should take a look inside. 

Patty looked firmly over at the old building and then back at Holtz, who was still clinging to Abby. 

"We gotta go inside." she stated, giving a single nod of her head. 

Standing across the street from the dusty firehouse, she felt closer to an answer than she had in all her scouring searches. Perhaps she was very close to what she was looking for. 

Abby looked over at Erin for confirmation of the plan. 

Erin nodded eagerly. 

Abby sighed, secretly happy because honestly - all these people being enthused about exploring a building that was probably a safety hazard really did make her want to see what was inside, even if the notion of what they were about to do flies in the face of all logic. 

"Ok," she agreed. "But - we go at the crosswalk, not here."

They headed to the crosswalk together, united by a common mission and enjoying a comfortable silence - something that was rare for all of them. 

Holtz had let go of her grasp on Abby's arms but she still clutched tightly to one of her hands. Her mind had moved ahead and was working on the next problem to solve, but it was as though she had forgotten to tell her body that the danger had passed - her other hand squeezed into a fist, her shoulders tense and trembling. 

Abby didn't hand holding her hand - had it been almost anyone else, it would have seemed awkward to walk down the street in such a way. It might have been the fact that she just saved her life, it might have been something else, but Abby felt protective of this young woman, and if she wanted to hold her hand after what had happened, then so be it.

They waited together for the light to change, and, with many nervous glances in all directions, hurried across to the other side of the street. 

As they drew closer to the firehouse, they felt excitement buzz inside of themselves. Something was just ahead, something they faintly remembered but greatly looked forward to. They gave each other small glances and grins, like siblings on Christmas morning getting ready to open presents. None of them knew what lay ahead, but they were eagerly looking toward to finding out. 

They paused reverently in front of the door, a little dismayed to see it in such disrepair. Holtz was the first to reach for the doorknob, turning it slowly. It was unlocked, and they all leaned forward. 

The door swung open, and the interior was incredibly dark - darker than it should have been for such a bright day, almost unnaturally so. 

The darkness, however, did not deter them. If anything, they now felt an even greater burning desire to see what was inside. 

"Together?"

Nods from all around. They took each other's hands and stepped up into the darkness. 

"I got your back."


	16. Interlude, 2

_"You'll want to stay away from the claws, that goes without sayin'."_

_Patty went over the bullet points on the list one by one. The others nodded._

_"Someone got a little scrape from one of those claws - they lost their whole leg from infection."_

_"Can you go over exactly what this last one means?" Erin asked hopefully, fully understanding what it meant but desperately hoping she was wrong._

_Patty sighed._

_"This thing has the bad habit of sending people to these pocket-dimension-time-travel-mind-wipe places or something." she shrugged. "I didn't really understand the science behind it, but maybe y'all can. All I know is, it does this thing where it claps it's hands together, and suddenly you're in another place. A few people have come back from that, but most often they don't."_

_"I guess it's better than dying." Abby grimaced._

_"To lose everything and everyone, to not remember any of that anymore, it would be just like dying." said Holtz._

_"The people who found their way back had things they fought to remember. If they had a strong enough connection to something in the here and now, they could find it again. If they didn't - no one ever found them again."_

_The group was silent as their eyes roved over the interior of the firehouse, up to the rafters and over the windows and down to the tile floors, avoiding eye contact with each other. No doubt all of them didn't want to take the job, but they were the only ones who even had a chance of stopping this thing. They would of course defend the idea that they loved their lives here together enough to remember them, but deep inside they didn't want to put that to the test._

_"We should have a meeting place set up. We have, what, three days? Let's burn it into our minds. Maybe a little bit of it will get left over." Abby suggested._

_"How about right here? It's not like we could forget about work, you know?" joked Hotlz._

_The others agreed._

_They would imprint the firehouse onto their minds, obsess over it, commit it to memory. They must get back to the firehouse, to find each other again, see each other again. Find the building, walk inside, find each other. They must._


	17. Patty & Holtz & Erin & Abby

They stepped across the threshold and into the pitch darkness. The second attempt at a step found that the floor was no longer there. An instinct to brace for the fall, they hunched over. 

It was like waking up. The sudden jerk to consciousness and the blinding light after being in the dark firehouse. They were back in the old cottage, back in their own dimension, own timeline. 

Except the pocket dimension must not have lined up just quite right with this one. They were about three feet higher than they used to be, hovering for just a split second in midair before they came crashing down to the ground once more. 

There was another round of screams. They wondered if they had ever stopped screaming. 

Their little trip had taken less than a handful of seconds - the ghost trap was closed, smoking in the way that it did just after capturing a spirit. 

Screams of fear turned to shouts of joy as they realized they had made it and the danger was safely stored away. Never had any of them been so happy to fall to their hands on a dusty hardwood floor. As the shock of pain of the fall wore away they got to their knees and scrambled to take off the proton packs and the rest of their bully gear. Tossing weapons aside, they scooted closer to each other in the middle of the room, slowly but carefully sliding the full ghost trap to the side and out of their way. 

They met in the middle in a group hug. As faces were buried in necks and foreheads rested on shoulders and arms were wrapped around anything they could reach, a few secret tears were shed. They had had a vision of what life would be like without each other, and they were so thankful that they did not have to continue in that life. Tears turned to giddy laughter as stress of the past few days - longer than just a few days, counting the time spent in the time loop - started to ease away. 

It was Abby who started it. One of her quiet sobs had morphed into a laugh, and it had all gone downhill from there. The sheer absurdity of what had happened to them was simply too much. Holtz lay back on the floor with her hands over her face, snickers mixing with tears. Erin and Patty leaned against each other, unable to stop giggling. Abby sat back and grinned. 

Their work in the house was done. Usually when a job was finished they hightailed it out of the place pretty quick. But this was a job unlike any other. They sat around the cottage for a while, opening the windows that would still open, letting in the air and the sunlight. They kicked off their boots and reclined against the walls and gave themselves time to just rest and think. They each had a lot of thinking to do. Dust motes floated by on the wafting breeze, not a care in the world. They were safe now. In light of what they went through, anything after this would surely be a piece of cake. 

As the sun started to set they gathered up their belongings and packed them into the car. They closed up the cottage as it was when they had arrived, sans ghosts. The enormity of the task completed was not lost on them - there were several celebratory selfies taken in front of the building before driving off. They didn't talk very much on the drive back, but the atmosphere in the car was much different than when they had been driving earlier. There was no impending doom, just impending sleep. No more feelings of dread, just feelings of dust and needing a shower. 

They couldn't help but feel a little odd as they pulled up to their firehouse. To have seen it not so long ago in such disrepair, to now - their second home, well kept and furnished, it was a little disconcerting. 

They shuffled across the threshold and into the fluorescent light. Patty locked the ghost trap in the storage unit, while Abby called their client on the phone and let them know the cottage was now free of pesky spirits. Holtz and Erin put the rest of the gear away. When their final tasks were finished they tumbled into the cots they kept for emergencies and swiftly fell asleep, a feeling of safety coming over them that they hadn't felt in a long time. 

They awoke later that night, much refreshed and suddenly starving. With an empty schedule for the next day, they decided upon having an impromptu pizza and wonton party. Much to their good fortune, the restaurants were still open and delivering. The small television in the corner was dragged out into the middle of the room and whatever cheesy program was on was watched with rapt delight. They had not felt this light and giddy since they had defeated Rowan. 

The food arrived and was generously tipped. Two large pizzas, four boxes of Chinese food, and half a dozen different flavors of Fanta soda that Holtz had pulled from hiding places somewhere in the firehouse later, it had turned to a dance party. The TV sat, temporarily forgotten while an infomercial played silently, and the 80's music was cranked up on the stereo. It was sugar fueled good times all around, complete with singing and lip synching and dramatic arm movements. 

As it passed the midnight hour and crept through to the small hours of the morning, they had danced themselves out. They grabbed the blankets and pillows off of the cots and huddled once more around the TV, plastic cups in hand, still sipping the sweet pineapple and grape and strawberry soda. 

At a certain point they all nodded off, still in the middle of the floor, the TV still going softly. When they'd awake in the morning, they would have stiff shoulders and pinched necks from falling asleep on the ground, but they would all be together. In the morning, as it did that night, that would be the only thing that mattered to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this! Thank you all for reading, and I truly appreciate the comments and kudos! <3


	18. Chapter 18

Holtz had more than a few sleepless nights after that. Her brush with the truck had left quite an impression on her - thankfully just mentally and not physically, but in addition to seeing the blaring headlights when she tried to close her eyes, it opened so many questions she didn't -couldn't - have answers for. 

What would have happened if it had hit her? If she died in that universe, did she die here too? Would her dead body have landed on the floor of the cottage, or would she just never have come back? Would dying in such a state turn her into ghost? What if she had come back to this plane as a specter, would her friends have recognized her? Tried to help her? Bust her? On one hand the questions intrigued her, on the other, they felt morbid. She wanted to bring them up with the others but was afraid of being misunderstood - it's not like she actually wanted to die over there to test a hypothesis. But also, she knew the others wouldn't have any better answers than what she could come up with herself. None of them would ever really know what would have happened should one of them perish over there, and honestly - she didn't want to know. 

 

Abby and Erin both longed to ask each other the dreaded question that's always on the tip of their tongues and back of their minds. Did you forget all about me over there? But they both hold back. For what if the other were to say "I remembered your name, your face, so clearly, I looked for you - I would never forget you", and she would have to answer back to her friend that she had been the one to forget? If Erin had remembered and Abby had forgotten, did that mean the memories for Abby were not as strong, not as dear? What if Abby had been able to keep a clear image of Erin when Erin could not? How terrible it would be to be the one who had forgotten a lifetime of friendship while the other had not. 

They stole glances at each other when the other wasn't looking, mulling it all over. The thoughts were focused on if only one of them had forgotten, and there were two possible reasons. Perhaps it would have seemed like too good of fortune to believe that it wasn't just her who had blank spaces in her memories - that they each had gone through a similar forgetfulness. Neither could then bear the blame of forgetting - and really what blame was there when a creature like that was involved? Indeed, there could be no blame all around... But deep down perhaps that was the answer they were both most afraid of - that they had both forgotten, and a lifetime of sweet memories had been erased like a faulty equation on a whiteboard. Each of the women held the secret hope that she had meant more to the other than what could be suppressed by a clap of spectral hands, even if it meant a failing on her own part of letting her friend fall from her own mind. 

In the small moments of the afternoon or the quiet hour of the early morning, Patty contemplated here and there on what her life here was and how little choices made along the way could change everything. She had had a vision of what her life would have been like had she never met the others, and she didn't like it. 

She loved her job at the subway, of course, it wasn't a question of that. It had payed well enough and gave her plenty of time to read and research all the various topics she enjoyed learning about. But often times it was a very lonely job - while she interacted with many people during a shift, they mostly seemed to look right through her or past her as though she were simply a cog in a machine to give them their ticket and not an actual person who might like to be smiled at or thanked. 

When she went home at night, she didn't have very many friends to talk to or do things with. It had seemed everyone had an image of what she should or shouldn't be and they expected her to fulfill that role. But she didn't want anyone to define her but herself - and that was why she loved her fellow Ghostbusters. They accepted her and her quirks and interests and never made her to feel that she should be anything other than what she was. 

Her life in the pocket universe had seemed dull and flat, and surely for more reason than that it was artificially constructed. How easy it would have been for that to be her actual reality, she though. How easily she could have had stayed quiet about the hauntings in the subway, or missed a day of work, or not spoken up about her knowledge to help them, and just like that her life would have gone on as it always had and never included all of this. What choices was she making now that would also forever change her future? They could be so small, and she would never even know. 

She longed to tell all this to her friends, knowing that they were the only ones who could possibly understand. But she held back, unsure of if she could even put these feelings into words, and that if she did, would they translate into the same feelings in her friends minds?

All of them, it seemed, were silently, psychically, reaching out to others asking the same kinds of questions but staying silent in this reality. If ever one were to break their silence, these were the only other people who could even possibly understand. So they each held onto that hope of understanding, tucking it away in the back of her mind, knowing that if - when - the day came that cloud of doubt lifted and she formed the words aloud, the others would nod their sympathy and empathy and everything would make sense and feel better. 

~~

Things settled down to normal business once again. They researched and busted and celebrated and studied. 

The phone on the desk rang, promptly answered by Kevin. 

"You've reached the Ghostbusters." he said into the receiver. 

From across the room the team glanced up. The call was going well so far. 

Kevin was nodding and looking at the chart in front of him, his finger running down the list. 

"Yes ma'am, it sounds like you have a simple residual haunting. We can fix that."

Erin gave Party a small high-five. It had been Patty's idea to give him a chart with important words clearly highlighted so he could explain things effectively to potential customers. 

"They can get a job like that done in a few hours. The price for something like that would be..." he trailed off as he turned the list over to find the price chart. 

"FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS." Holtz said very loudly from behind the new ghost trap she was working on. 

Kevin looked up, puzzled. He had known they were talking about giving themselves a raise, but as far he knew they hadn't decided on any new prices yet. 

"Um, the price for that would be fiv-"

"No! No! No!" Abby frantically shook her head and moved her arms into the shape of an X. 

Kevin paused. Then he realized. 

"The price for that would be free." he smiled. Surely that's what Abby meant here - finally, I'm getting the hang of this, he thought to himself. He thanked the woman on the phone and hung up. 

"That five thousand is coming out of your paycheck, Kev." Holtz told him. 

"What five thousand?" he was confused again. 

They stifled their groans and avoids eye contact with him. It had been so close to a good phone call. So close. 

"Well," Erin sighed. "It's not like it's a hard job, right?"

"We are the experts." Party nodded. 

"Let's get this thing over with." Holtz grabbed her favorite proton pack. 

"We'll be back in three hours." Abby told Kevin as she took the info he had written down for the job. "I'll give you a call when we're done, and I want to order some food for us for when we get back. From the Chinese place, our regular order, ok?" 

"Sure thing guys." he smiled as he held the door open for them. 

They said their goodbyes and he closed the door. 

The group paused just outside the door. 

"Alright, place your bets now - what's he gonna have for us when we get back?" Patty asked. 

"I think he'll get it right this time." Erin nodded, ever the optimist. "Chinese food."

"I think he'll get it confused with the Korean place two blocks over like he did last month." Abby added grimly. 

"I think he'll forget what Chinese food is and order a pizza." Holtz smirked. 

Patty scribbled down the bets on a scrap of paper and put it in her pocket. 

"Winner gets to pick the location of our next girls night out." she said. 

They piled into the hearse and set out on their next adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that completes the story. <3 Thank you all for the lovely comments, the kudos, and the views! I really appreciate them!


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